GG Allin's funeral - I was there less than two months after meeting the guy. Now, we all knew he wasn't going to die of old age and we all knew it wouldn't be an ordinary service, but I wasn't quite prepared for that I saw. The band's drummer was drawing on GG's leg with a magic marker. The body was dressed in his leather jacket and a jockstrap that said "Eat Me". He held a microphone in one hand and a jug of Jim Beam in the other. Everyone was hammered. When the beer ran out, people wrenched the jug from his arms to swig from it. GG looked like hell.

There were gouges and scars everywhere and he was discolored, and frankly, starting to go bad after five days. He was leaking embalming fluid noticeable. One girl put her underwear on his face. Other people were putting stickers on the casket, pushing pills and liquor into GG's mouth, having their smiling pictures taken up by his face, taking his dick out and playing with it.. the works. It was as though everyone ELSE was finally having THEIR way with HIM. The parlor director thought it was a scream. Most common phrase of the night had to be, "He woulda" wanted it this way."

At a convenience store afterwards, a clerk overheard us talking about what we'd seen and asked "where the hell WHERE you?" We told her a wake, "WHOSE wake?" We told her, but GG didn't ring a bell.. "You know, Kevin?"" "Oh, Kevin! OK, that makes sense. Say.. was Al Chappel there?" We told her he was. "He hung my cat, you know." We said, "What, back in the Jabbers days.. '79-ish?" "No, just last week!" This guy must be almost 40 now and still hangs cats.

At graveside the next day, the drummer stepped up to the ditch and told those in attendance, "The Lunachicks are number one. They were my husband, and he (GG Allin) was my wife. Thank you." He then went into a sort of interpretive art-dance in his gray hot pants and t-shirt. We noticed him looking solemn at the end, and asked if he was OK, "I shoulda' mentioned that Caprice parked on the hill up there, because Chevys number one, too. I used to have a van."